Sarge 5:35 Sun Jan 17
Constipation
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Broke collar bone 2 weeks ago in a bike accident
Side effect of the pain killers means I'm currently blocked up like the m20 pre Brexit.
Laxitive sachets arent kicking on yet. Resorting to prune juice currently but no earth wind or fire yet.
Any suggestions (serious or otherwise) from the witch doctors or old wives of WHO?
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Replies - In Chronological Order ( Show Newest Messages First)
Tomsdad
5:45 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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Few hand full of peanuts. Stand back and wait.
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Browno22
5:48 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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Prunes, trust me they will do the job
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The old c wing
5:51 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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I find a good shit helps clear it.
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Iron Duke
5:53 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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The old c wing 5:51 Sun Jan 17
😂 Post of the year so far
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blueeyed.handsomeman
5:54 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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a healthy sex life may help a long with a study of birds
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BRANDED
5:55 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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5 pints of a decent strong real ale.
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PwoperNaughtyButNot
6:02 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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But being able to go and being blocked up are two different things
If you are blocked up by a massive dry turd then the laxatives ain’t going to help and might cause damage
Drink shit loads of water and be prepared to lubricate
Good luck
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lowermarshhammer
6:02 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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Moviprep, should be able to get it from an online pharmacy.
Make sure you have a LOT of arsewipe available.
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lowermarshhammer
6:04 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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Having read the previous post perhaps it might be better to knock back a glass of olive oil first and see if that does the trick.
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goose
6:17 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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Trip to Bangladesh will do the trick.
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Hallerinthemorning
6:25 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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I has a colonoscopy cancelled due to COVID restrictions last week and have loads of the powerful laxative sitting here that they make you take before you go in for it.. obviously dont need it now. If u DM me ur address I'll courier it to you genuinely.
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Swiss.
6:27 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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Syrup of figs. Thank me later.
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lowermarshhammer
6:37 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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Haller, I had Moviprep prior to the camera up the arse. As someone else printed out if it's a dried out lump blockage that might not be the best first approach. Hence olive oil / prunes type approach maybe first option.
Alternatively speak to a proper doctor instead of of us dickheads.
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Browno22
6:41 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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Give yourself a coffee enema and then boil the prunes in that. Neck the lot and that will get your holes open
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Hermit Road
6:42 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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I’ve had the colonoscopy and it was worth it for the laxatives alone although the sedative was a bonus too.
I love a good clear out and at the laxatives they give you for a colonoscopy induced Niagara Falls from my arse. By the time I was finished I had spring water gushing out I was that clean.
Try and get hold of that gear and your bunged up worries will be history.
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Far Cough
6:44 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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PICOLAX is your friend.....or your enemy depending on how you look at it
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Lato
6:54 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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Plenty of water at least 2 litres a day and plenty fruit, Kiwi fruit doe's it for me
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Sarge
7:10 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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Cheers for the offer haller but its not the colonoscopy powders i need.
I know what you and others mean though.. when I had mine a while back these cleaned me out like the Cameroon back 4 on Claudio caniggia in Italia 90.
Prunes olives and water for now
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Hermit Road
7:11 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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“ cleaned me out like the Cameroon back 4 on Claudio caniggia in Italia 90.”
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
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SecondOpinion
7:20 Sun Jan 17
Re: Constipation
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Let nature take it's course and marvel at the size of the turd that will be lounging in your toilet bowl
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